Fleekin Floygn

Do you ever have a close friend that you've known for a while, with whom you do a lot of things together and speak almost everyday and share your dreams and fears with and suddenly you look at them one day and think, "I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

So, I have this friend (shockingly), and while I don't hate them, I kinda want occasionally take a plastic bag and tie it around their head, just until they pass out, and them send them for a month long visit to Yemen. I think this is because we are not natural allies. We are not people with similar backgrounds or philosophies on life and yet by way of circumstance, we spend a fair amount of time together. We are like the tiger and the zebra in Life of Pi who somehow coexist even though the tiger wants to rip off the zebra's limbs. It's just not natural. And yet there's no way to actually say, "You know how you act? Could you, um, not?"

Really it's an issue of the fact that I hate when people feel the need to superficially augment themselves. Like personality implants. You don't have to think that everything is cool and make everyone believe that you are 'funky'. Some people are just nerdy (in an adorable way) and normal. Myself, I appreciate that other people do neat things, like go to Kenya or take up paragliding; I just don't need to say, "Wow! I am totally going do that one day!" Cause I'm not going to. And neither is my friend. And that is SO ok. We'll do other things. When I tell people, "hey, I'm in an opera," they say, "Wow, cool!" but they don't pretend like they're going to go and audition for the Met.

So for all of y'all out there who feel the need to convince people that you're more than you are, just stop. Cause you're not. You're just you. And we love you for it.