Wednesday, April 06, 2005

I had an insane day. Not insane like wearing orange and purple together, oh no! This is was like putting your cheek to the wall and humming crazazy. It began with driving my poor sickly mother to work, which led me that I road rage more before nine am then post people do all day. Sadly, the day - and the driving - had just begun. Then it was on to a fitting. A fitting, you say? Aren't fittings fun? Yes, yes they are...EXCEPT when they are for Armani suits...I'm sorry, did I say Armani suits? I meant to say fiber glass orthopedic leg braces. I sat there for two hours while this creepy little (though relatively young: 34?) man dashed back and forth trying to make my feet feel less hell-ish. At the two hour mark, I just told him it was fine and that I would call him next week if they weren't working out, as I quite literally limped out of the office. The worst part is that he responded with, "Please do. This is my life! No seriously, it's my life." That is so...HellomynameisGwenandI'mheretowashyourvagina. Then I road raged my ass to University, went inside, ran around like a chicken that not only has had is head chopped off but has subsequentally, inadvertenly grabbed the axe and chopped off his friends head as well, leaving them both running into each other, all in the pursuit of finding second copies for this $%&^ing competition I had to do. I finally managed to find a second copy from possibly the creepiest student in the entire school, a 43 year old social "special person" ("retard is too un-PC) who for some reason thinks that opening his mouth to omit sound is a good idea. But he lent it to me, so whatever; best friend for the day. This left me exactly enough time to drive home, take 11 (ELEVEN!) minutes to go from street schlub to dashing competitor, and arrive at the audition 3 minutes before I was to go on. (More on this later). After it was over, I got back in the car and drove to this recording session at school where I spent 2.5 hours standing and wishing infinite hell to reign on all tenors. THEN I got to go to a three hour rehearsal for the opera, which blew large chunks of whale blubber, naturally, but on way home (get out the hankies), I saw my first hooker! Seriously, you guys - the first one ever. And she was pretty., but it still made me kinda said, what with the poor self esteem and syphillis and all.

So that aforementioned competition? I sure won the fuck out of it. Well, I was among the four people that won the fuck out of it. We all win a place in a professional recital to be held at Westminster United Church on May 11, AND free head shots. I think I'm more excited about the latter. I'm a camera whore.

No comments: