New comic idea: Adventures of David and his Pretend Vulva
4:56 PM EDT
Conclusion: I am not responsible enough to be in charge of my own birth control and clearly need to be monitored by a medical professional to ensure I don't fuck it up.
Wow, Planned Parents. Judgey McJudgejudge Judgersons. Thanks, Mom. Also, they nailed it right in the vag.***
*Okay, I was typing on autopilot and initially wrote "parents." Paging Dr. Freud...
**He'd be all "Ooh, baby, I'll totally pull out. I wanna cum all over your tits," but I'd know better cause he's an ass man.
Spaghetti sauce or childhood rosacea? You decide.