Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hate On for Laos Week Continues

My Korean-born friend (not the sleepover pal; this one speaks English) told me recently that he will never feel completely at home in Canada, but no less than he would in Korea. He explained that he is truly a product of both societies and requires elements of both to feel whole. Favourite pastimes may include karaoke while eating back bacon or igloo-building while eating kittens. While I heard what he was saying, I could not fully understand the Asian-Canadian cultural experience, partially because I'm full blown Canadian, albeit one of queer/Jewish/Hungarian/gimpy decent, but mostly just because I DO NOT PROTEST USING CONTAINERS OF MY OWN BLOOD.

Look, I get that you guys get the shit end of the stick. Is that an expression? Is now, haters. But seriously, Asians got tsunamis, communism, an entire nation of cab drivers and tech support workers, and to top it all off most of them have to live next to that asshole, Laos. It's pretty much the Ned Flanders of the Orient. So when Taiwan decided to protest...something (I didn't read the article; they're always bitching about one thing or the other), I thought, "Way to go, Taiwan. You gave me years of good Happy Meal toys in the 80's; I will support your right to get all P.O.'ed at The Man."

But this whole blood thing? Not even Amnesty International is down with that shit. They're all on the phone to the AP like, "Oh yeah, we for totes support Taiwan...mmm-hmm...mmm-hmm...Blood, you say?...Ah, I see. We're out."

It's creepy guys. Plus, I'm not technically allowed to give blood in my country cause of the teh ghey and all but people in Taiwan get to draw their own blood on the street and throw it at some dude's house? I mean, what about MY rights, Taiwan? I'd loooooooove to go throw some blerd at 24 Sussex most days, but Red Cross's troglodytian laws say that despite my recent STI testing and near-abstinence at the hands and genitals of Toronto's queer community, I can't help some O negative baby that was in a car crash. Baby don't care. Baby wants to get to be a toddler. Trust me. I know babies.

And once again I've made an entire nation's woes completely about myself and my hemoglobin ambitions. Sorry, Taiwan. I'll buy a shirt at the Gap this weekend. Maybe.

1 comment:

Pat Tillett said...

great and funny post. You have an interesting "take" on just about everything. Keep writing!!!