So guess who just scored a front row ticket to MARGARET CHO.
Answer: Veteran character actor Charles Durning.*
Yellow Star: Me, fuckers.
Broken Yellow Lines: Sight Lines of Connection.
Green: People that are insanely jealous of me.
Blue: People that are pretending not to be jealous yet are secretly thinking, "Wow, these tickets are so not as good as they looked on the seating chart."
Purple: Mah new best frienjhz
Red: People that are so jealous that it's like they're burning in their own personal Hells. That's why it's red. Don't even talk to me about those assholes in the loges. They will be jealousy-suiciding themselves like whoa.
*Actually, it's me. Idiot.