Friday, May 28, 2010

I've now referenced Patrick Tillet several times in the past few months. For those of you who haven't clicked on my hyperlink to his blog, first of all, why didn't you click on my hyperlink to his blog? I don't hyperlink for my health, people! Kids in China have no hyperlinks! Hyperlinks don't grow on trees, you know!


Second of all, I'll explain that Patrick - Pat to his friends - Patrick is like a den father (is that a thing?) to a whole bunch of younger, stupider bloggers like me who all follow him like Charles Manson Deepak Chopra cause he's all wise and shiz. As one commenter recently stated, Patrick's blog is like a sequel to Running With Scissors with drugs, the law and mentally unbalanced relatives taking the forefront. In summation, there's some seriously good stuff there.

So that's Patrick.

Now why am I telling you this?

Well, as you probably know, the doling out of blogger "awards" has proliferated the interwebz. I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's a thing and we're gonna talk about it. Anyway, after receiving nearly every award on the planet by his followers (the fuck is a Blue Award?), he created one of his own called the White Russian Award:

The only reason that I am posting this here is because Pat is a nice guy and that's part of the stipulation of accepting it. I don't know how to embed them in the side bar cause I'm not all worldly and have given myself the HTML Fail Award on several occasions. I'm also posting it because it's fucking hilarious and makes no sense.

Preamble over.

My steady decrease in workload has meant a lot of scrounging for things to do for 37.5 hours of the week and so when I was listed along with about 30 other blogs, I was thrilled at the possibility of following some new ones. I went faithfully to each and every one of them and read a few posts from each and learned that I am truly a lone dickwolf in a sea of nice princes. I am at this moment giving myself the Mixed Metaphor Award.

Every one of them was just so... nice. They all had cute little stories or poems or posts on awards given to them by someone else who was really nice. This is fine. No judgey. I'm certainly not harping on an inundation of niceness, so no "To heck with you, gosh darnit!" comments. I suppose, as I've said in the past, people just have different reasons for blogging and based upon the 30 blogs I saw yesterday, it would seem like a lot of people do it so they'll have this nice little Precious Moments community. (Sidenote: has there ever been anything on this earth less Jewy than Precious Moments ?) I think recognition of another person's efforts is a beautiful thing, but this award thing is getting to be more like daily affirmations affixed to one's mirror than anything else. All this nicety is, well, nice, but it's not me. At least not blogger me. In direct opposition to niceties, my M.O. seems to be thinking of un-PC verbal diarrhea and writing it down before fully pondering that I'll be up all night thinking about how I want to befriend an autistic 12 year old, so you can see where there's some contrary inspiration. This took me back to my days of being the badass slacker of my school's IB program. Both now and then, the idea of my badassery is ridiculous, however no less isolating because of it. Yes, I did so little work in grade 11 that I stayed up for 36 hours on the last two days and did an entire term's worth of homework, but I was also in choir, chamber choir, the musical and regular high school coffee house performer and still made honour roll. So even if I was a bit badass, it was in a very Tina from Glee way. A very queer Tina from Glee way. A very queer racially-stereotyping Tina from Glee way. In fact, I'm frequently rebuffed in real life for being too nice, an irony not lost on a guy whose most frequently used tag is Adventures in No Man Land.

Okay, so what's my point?

No, really, I have no idea what my point was

Maybe that I feel totally not a part of an online community of nice people cause I like really funny and/or twisted reading fodder?

Maybe that if anyone knows any other blogs like Steam Me Up Kid, Monster Apathy or Sassy Curmodgeon to pass them my way?

Ugh, I don't know.


Pat Tillett said...

Thanks for the nice words!

I don't know about all that other stuff you wrote because I stopped reading after "so that's Patrick."

try this blog, it's crazy and funny as hell.

The "sassy crumudgeon" is maybe my favorite of all, but this link here will take to one that's at least as good...

soft nonsense said...

Memoirs of a Korean and The Japing Ape are a pair of great ones, aside from the one Pat just mentioned. Though you probably read all of them, as we seem to roll in similar blogging circles.

My parents used to be all Precious Moments, but luckily they grew out of it.

Also, you should know that, at the very least, most of my comments are rarely described as nice. You have a profane brother in me, my compatriot.