Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fuck you, Facebook Bumper Sticker.

Fuck. You.

Today I realized that whenever I see a person with red hair walk by, in my head I always scream, "GINGEEERRRRRRR!" Unlike most of the population, I find select redheads extremely attractive. I've yet to become intimate with one, but given my lack of sexual discretion, it'll probably happen at one point or another, and likely not with the gorgeous auburn ones but rather the pasty freckled kind that resemble Alfred E. Newman and Opie's love child.

I also had a similar reaction when the girl with autism/the sillies started laughing maniacally on the streetcar this morning, though that was more "Oh my god, I love that retarded girl." Like all children and most pets, I enjoy her in small doses but do not want one of my own. I feel this will qualify me to be a kickass uncle, assuming the my brothers date crazy bitches that poke holes in their condoms in the hopes of hopping on those sweet pilot/electrician trains. My Special Uncle Skills will include teaching the dangers of over eyeliner-ing (nieces), winning hearts with show tunes (nephews) and the importance of brow maintenance (both), as the latter sure as hell hasn't worked on my friends. You know who you are. And that I mean you. And you read this blog. And I'm going to keep mentioning it until that shit gets taken care of.

Welcome to the world, Audible Sigh tag.

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