Saturday, November 26, 2005

If you are in my intimate circle, you've probably heard my view on '7 out of 10' but for the rest of you, here is my philisophical perspective on that ratio.

7/10 is fine. It isn't outstanding or even great but nor is it necessarily negative (except for the fact that in and of itself it is not great). It's just ok. 7/10 has been the dominant ratio of my life for the past couple months. Between the parties and school and performance stress, it's just been a very emotional Middle-of-nowhere time. Perhaps it was that I was going at things half asses or just being rediculously negative but I noticed a change in how I was perceived, not by my closest friends but by more peripheral ones who would look at me with horrified amusement upon hearing one of my little quips, which as of late have been primarily aimed at one reknowned, soon-to-be-retired choirmaster/blow-hard. Oh, I heard that audible gasp and calm right down. I love him, but, c'mon...

Good news though! I think I finally snapped out of it last night, as I'm definitely an 8/10 this morning which I've not been for quite some time. Last night was rather cathartic as I really got back to talking with my nearest and dearest the way we all enjoy the most. That is having discussions that both challenge, inform, and amuse. It felt like an intellectual homecoming, as well as giving much emotional satisfaction/relief. In addition, I was witness to the first public displays of affection between two of my peeps that were just so natural. In fact I was flanked by two couples and yet didn't feel like a spare tire whatsoever, as I often have in the past. This reassures me that I truly am in the romantic mindset that I have been claiming, as one who is content to observe rather than participate for now, and that brings with it all kinds of freedom.

1 comment:

deener said...

And the saga of the blow-hard choir director continues today, with:

"Random over-dramatic comments directed at people you've just met"

Hmmm...if I were the new interim dean, would I feel honoured and cherished, or simply run for the hills with merely the clothes on my back?

Interestingly, I'm not particularly sure. But remember kids...

"No one goes to bed and thinks 'My tongue is tired'"

Well, then that obviously means you're not doing something right.