I hate the post-first date follow up.
Last night I hung out with a perfectly lovely boy who by all accounts is everything I should want without being perfect, cause no one needs that. Sweet, kind, adorable, the whole thing. We had a great time and he left at 2:30 in the morning, telling me to call him tomorrow/today. Yay.
But see, the second he walked out of that door, it was all up in the air; until you actually speak for the first time after that, it could really go either way. Some guys simply have a way of doing a 180 within a 24 hour period and there's really not a lot the rest of us can do about it. There's no real reason why this one should, but weirder things should happen, so without being too preoccupied, I'm ever slightly on edge.
I called at 6:45 tonight with the full expectation *ring* that we had have a nice *ring* little conversation *ring* and then get together *ring* later in the week. *voice mail* Shit. The worst thing is leaving a message because then the onus as well as the fate of my neuroses are on him. I could have hung up, but with caller ID he would have known that I had called anyway. So I left a message. It wasn't the most brilliant message ever, but it was short, cute, and not too clingy. So now it's nearly two hours later and I haven't heard anything which is completely reasonable and yet the wheels of panic are already starting to grind. I really won't be all that heart broken if he never calls as I've learned not to get too invested this early, but there was potential. And it's been a while since there's been potential. A long while. In fact I believe that back then the word for potential was Oog.