Sunday, October 02, 2011

It's no huge declamation to say that my output over the past year has been pretty meager. I've written just under thirty entries in the past year. By comparison, in March 2010 there were twenty posts alone.

This troubles me. Not because I'm well-known or read by hundreds. Moment of honesty: 17 followers plus a scattering of friends does not a huge base make. Still, I've encountered some really interesting and diverse people out of those 17 and I remember very fondly the kind of near-daily interactions we used to have.

I've struggled writing in the past year because I went back to school, was busier, yada yada yada...but the fact is that what really gave me a blog boner from December 2009 to July 2010 was working at a mindless job with lots of free time to observe the ridiculous people around me and write it. Plus access to MS Paint. Biiiiiiiiig factor.

The reality is that I've been trying to write from that perspective when those variables are gone. Life...just hasn't been that funny. There's been huge shifts, new points of view that come with education, less ethnic people. Okay, that last one is a lie. I was standing at a bus stop next to a guy named Noodle yesterday. I mean, really...

Still, I went back and read a few of my older entries and was surprised to find I was kind of offended by some of the things I'd written. I know I genuinely didn't mean anything hurtful by them, but was really unaware of how they might present to a stranger. This shouldn't really be a consideration when writing (which is why I'm not taking them down) but I don't think I'll ever really write in that style again.

So I'm going to try to do this again, just a bit different. It might not always be that jokey or caustic, and, let's be honest, it might get damn emo up in herr at times, but as I recently said to a friend:

We'll just try again tomorrow. Try to do better, be better. Improve. We all gotta try.

4 comments:

Tocalabocina said...

I've felt much the same way, of late. I'd like to write more often, but, without the desk job and sociopathic coworkers, the hurtful men and the self-hatred, there is less and less fodder.

And then there's the fact that when I re-read what I've written in years and months past I can't help but cringe(BTW, how could you follow such a whiny, food-obsessed, miserable cow?).

Enough about me though. Write more often, young man! I could use the occassional good read.

Hetero-Challenged said...

I'd read whatever you put down.

Sandra said...

Interesting!

Pat Tillett said...

I haven't been here for a while and I do notice a difference. Whatever the subject or tone, you still write very well. Some of your old posts were damn funny...

Tocalabocina? Fancy seeing you here. Just for the record, I never thought you were a whiny, miserable cow! I'm glad to see that you are still out there...