Wednesday: I go to Winner's to buy a white dress shirt as the one I wore to my cousin's wedding last month made me look like, in my father's words, "a homeless Zeller's cashier." I grab two and head for the dressing rooms, but as I do I notice that this Winner's has a suit section.** I riffle through it because in true Winner's fashion it is bound to be rife with disappointment, right? (PLEASE LET IT BE RIFE)
Other Cheap American Shit Made in Tijuana
And then...a great light descended from the
I took it to the change room knowing full well that given all zee junk in mah trunk there was no way this was going to fit, and moreover praying that it wouldn't.
Like a fucking glove...
So the moral*** of our story is:
$40 Zara scarf = no
$450 Cavalli suit = si****
*Evidently this refers to the robes worn by Roman Catholic clergy and NOT just a direct translation from French for 'clothes'. Fuck it, it's staying in.
**If you can't see where this is going, you got some shit to sort out.
***This is not a moral.
****WHATEVER! THESE FUCKERS NORMALLY START AT $1,200! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!*****
*****Yeah, ya do.