Friday, December 04, 2009

Another day spent trolling the gay blogosphere. I’ve made the unfortunate discovery that not all bloggers are witty, acerbic and immaculately coifed as some earlier finds. Some feel that their annual pilgrimage to IKEA is appropriately tantalizing sharing fodder. I might consider discussing such an insipid venture if it involved adventures in narcotics, group sex or sandwiches. But otherwise, no.

I had a strangely ambiguous conversation with Never-Gonna-Happen Current Obsession, whom I’m decided to rename ESLothario. We discussed my recent pulling away, not unnoticed it seems, as well as the weird, twisty journeys on which we’ve both imparted. We also discussed the notion of taking chances and being risky. I came very close to stating that he was my risk and that my weird, twisty journey would be over if he just gave me a sign that me lunging across the table to kiss him would be met with reciprocity rather than a harassment suit, but I refrained, as always. He has to know anyway, given his claims of extrasensory perception and the fact that I’m an absolute idiot around him. Seriously. Should it ever occur, our first date will be chaperoned via short bus. I suspect this will come to a head soon enough, most likely with me leaving a post-it note with his doorman detailing my Quixotic ambitions for him, myself being one of them, and then following this up by my fleeing of the country. I hear Mozambique is lovely this time of year.

I’m supposed to meet up tonight with a big ol’ group of gay Jews. This is, for me, like wandering the desert and finding an oasis. A neurotic, large-nosed, circumcised oasis. I do not know any of these guys, having been connected to one of them via an old camp counsellor’s Facebook friend suggestion, but I’m cautiously optimistic. Who knew that my former counsellor, now a bald lawyer, would be responsible for a potential new (read: only) gay social group? Perhaps there will even be love under the yarmulke.

I just looked in the mirror and I think my head’s height is roughly two times that of its width. I am the male Sarah Jessica Parker.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

bahahahahaha!!!had me laughing out loud. YOU SHOULD BE PUBLISHED.