So I think I was a little bit rash about that whole abstinence thing. Not because I'm hormonally incapable but rather because I think absolute abstinence really doesn't leave pause to examine each situation and therefore isn't really true to the original intent. The reason I had such an adverse reaction is due to the fact that in the past I have not been true to my own personal standards. This has nothing to do with my perceptions of my own physical beauty or lack thereof or whatnotandwhathaveyou, but rather my habit of 'going with the flow' rather than saying, You know what? I'm really not into this.
When you're actually faced with that type of pre-intimate situation it's very hard to go back on it even if you really want to because at that point there's really no positive social recourse in saying, You know what? I'm really not into this.
And really 'this' means 'you'. And this has definitely been a problem up until now. Without undesirably disclosing any sort of figure regarding my history of partners, it can definitely noted that I was actually attracted in a potent way to a rather slim number of them. The others were more a "Well, we're already here so might as well..." situation. Which is so not kosher.
I have a dear friend who is very in touch with her sexual nature and it seems that whenever she discusses an experience she's had, it's "he was so...hot." or "It was amazing." In short, she has good sex. I, conversely, appear to not have good sex.
So rather than join a figurative monastery, I've decided instead to simply be more true to my attractions and if that means donning the robes and shaving the top of my head until that happens, then so be it.