Monday, February 04, 2008

Because of the hope I had in that night. Because of the magic that comes with a first time experience with no expectations and complete honesty, where there is nothing to live up to nor to prove. Because there's a tragic elegance in realizing that you'll never have either again. Because of prophecies long thought dead being fulfilled. Because sickness makes you seem so much more important for a month than most people have for a lifetime. Because although I never truly believed it was about me, if I let myself forget that for a moment, I felt important. Because you're the only person I've ever known that's been both my whole world and meaningless at the same time. Because of how unique I realized we were when I just typed that. Because I also realized at the same time how fucked up beyond repair it was, too. Because you held a great beauty in your potential and even greater beauty in your failure. Because you showed me how to live while completely ignoring the laws of reality and because that forced me to see that your world isn't for me. Because sometimes it's good for all of us to feel simultaneously needed neglected, just for a while. Because although it was difficult to feel so awful so much of the time, it's still better than feeling nothing...

Happy anniversary, Max.

1 comment:

Lysander said...

http://zombieunicorn.wordpress.com/2008/02/06/
oh-max-we-hardly-knew-ye/#comment-32