Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I imagine that there will come a point in my life, probably by the time I am, say, thirty-five - forty-ish, at which I will have done most of my evolving and I will be my essential self for the remainder of my life. I will probably look back at these times of ever-changing selves and think, "My God, am I ever glad that I am done that!"

However, my current self disagrees with future David. I am having such a good time becoming a new person every few months. It's so stimulating, challenging to want to be and do a million things all at once and to know that in your own eyes, you are better, more than you were a season ago. I think what this boils down to is that I just got over not being 18 anymore. Quite literally in the last 7 seconds, and let me tell you, kids: it's absolutely brilliant. There were a couple of years there (up until 7...no wait - eight seconds ago) where I secretly bemoaned the loss of my jail-bait status, but now I feel like the fucking warden.

In a related yet separate vein, it occurs to me that I live in such a way that my goals occasionally opposed themselves and because I want to experience so much, these experiences have the potential to prevent other ones. I feel that up until this point I have been very successful in balancing my goals with my love of newness and I feel that I will be able to continue to have mind-shattering experiences while still acheiving my goals. So before I get to my point, let it be known that David is very stable and committed to his long-term goals. Still, I know that it is all too human to falter and I recognize that there is potential, no matter how small, for a person to lose focus of what they want in the long term due to their short-term fancies. If I were to ever veer close to that precipice, I hope that the people near and dear to me would enlighten me to the potential dangers of gravity. This is not a cry for help, just a suggestion that if anyone has any concerns at any point in the future, that we talk and assess if their fears are warranted. I like to think that if the need arose, my dear ones would allow me to do the same for them.


Michael Park said...

hmm, prioritizing goals and desires... tough call. Usually, warnings won't actually stop us from making mistakes... and little mistakes need to be made along the way, but if yer on the verge of a major fuck up, I'll be there to give you a kick in the ass!
And for sure, kick me whenever you want!

Stephen said...

As those milk ads say "always grow, grow always"

And sure, those milk ads are a bit of a sell out, but I kinda think they're hot too. Don't worry, I think you know I'll be there for you if you're about to f up, and I think you should buy the grey shoelaces instead of the black ones.

Michael Park said...

speaking of milk ads... something close is 'mike ads' (for example)


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