Monday, May 23, 2011

I am NOT what I eat if I'm a dick

I think there must be some sort of positive correlation between one’s age, the time they have been single and inquiries about if there is a guy/boy/someone special/anyone/new person/dating service in their life.

I have had some form of this question posed to me no less than 5 times this week, 3 of them by my father. He wants a gay-in-law so damn badly. Crazy hunkey.

I had a bit of revelation last month. It’s not all inked in dogma or something revelatory requiring a soapbox. However, after years of everyone and their mom (yeah, moms always wanna make sure I’m getting ass) asking about my romantic life, and me consequently spending a lot of time thinking about it, ye ol’ brain came up with this:

What if it never happens?

Let me say right here before anyone jumps in with, “Oh you’ll find someone,” or, “You’re a great person; it’s only a matter of time.”

You shut your face. Hard. That kind of talk is unwanted here. No, like really hard.

Because, not to be a defeatist, but simply from a pragmatic perspective, what if it just…doesn’t happen? Am I to wander around for the next 20-30 years looking for this elusive thing rather than just being awesome and enjoying the ridiculously cool life I plan on building? F 2 da no, I say. You gotta be okay with just you. Some people get good with Jesus. I’m going to get good with D-sus.

Yeah. That just happened. Sorry.


Jeaux said...

If you're born gay, you're born free. It's your license to improvise. Run with it.

S said...

I like this post, really hard. I always think that when people plague me with comments like that. Like, exactly: it could never happen. That happens with lots of people, and it's okay. Frankly, it's not really okay with ME, but as far as the universe is concerned, it's a valid turn of events. There should be some sort of movement to ban the persecution of the single!

D. said...

did your dad really say he wants a gay-in-law?? i would be SO fucking happy if my dad said that to me. consider yourself fortunate! :P