Saturday, July 02, 2005

As people, we are victms of abuse everyday. Ironically, we are also the victimizers, so I suppose things come full circle, but still. I myself am included in this support group; people treat me like crap all the time! And yes, I'm assure there's some give or take there. I was blown off today. I was harassed by drunken baffoons. I got thrown into a door by more drunken baffoons. I left my bag at a second cup and I will present the consequent interaction in both what was actually said (and I what I was thinking).

Me: Hi, I think I left my bag here.

Awful Coffee-Hawking Shill: You know, you really shouldn't leave your stuff just lying around.

Me: Yeah, well, I went to watch the fireworks and I guess I kinda...(Really? Cause I was kinda thinking it could be a new trend. Like, leaving your bag in a run down, Yanni-playing, whipped-cream-charging bean hole could be the new black this fall.)

ACHS: What did it look like?

Me: It's black. (It looks like the only bag you've found in the last five minutes, dumbass.)

ACHS (looking at my bag on the floor): Does it have a rolled up newspaper in it?

Me: Um, yes? (No, mine is the black bag you've found in the last five minutes with a rolled up can o' whup ass in it.)

ACHS: Here you go.

Me: Thanks. (I fucking hate you. I hope you choke on one of your seventeen dollar pastries you commie bastard.)

I can't believe that happened. I can't believe that I was shamed by the 25 year old son of a Second Cup owner. Mostly, I can't believe that it bugged me so much that I felt the need to write about it. Like those guys that yelled, "Fag!" as they passed. I shouldn't care. They'll wind up cleaning sewers or something. But still, it's just wrong. Alcohol should not be an excuse for being an asshole. If I was someone who didn't drink, that would totally be my reason why: "Actually, I don't drink. I'm protesting all the assholes that do and shout 'Fag' at people." (I don't know why I capitalize Fag, like it's some sort of diety or something...?)

In other news, I bought a second Tori Amos CD. *sigh* And so it begins...

2 comments:

ThongMaster said...

Im not sure which one of you was bitchier, really.....
but then again, your internal dialogue was not presented to the second cup cunt, so you were quite polite Im sure....
I kinda would like to hear their internal dialogue...
I used to spite people who left stuff lying in the pharmacy too, giving them a hard time added a little spark to the otherwise dull day. Plus if you work at a place like second cup, you have no choice but to become a jaded erudite dickwadd anyway.

punmaster J said...

Wow do Ilove the way you write. So much heinous in this one, but such an eloquent, witty and engaging variety. Sir, I am in your debt. If I'm ever stark raving pissed at someone I'm going to have them stop and wait so I can get you to come and dish out that can o' whoopass in your black bag in the way that only you can. Let me clarify that I do enjoy your writing from the entire spectrum of your emotions, but this entry just tickled me in just the "write" way. (hahahaha...I couldn't resist, I haven't released a pun of that wretched a variety in quite a while...)