Fleekin Floygn

I think that perhaps you can't see it when you're in it; the view is too cloudy, like trying to analyze a storm from within its eye. It's just that sometimes the world is viewed so much easier from a cubicle than from a stage. Glamorous, no, but that's hardly the point. You think more because there's nothing else to do. An iPod can only distract so much when doing tasks that could be easily prescribed to any other simian. The victories are more plentiful, if less grandiose, and the tragedies aren't quite so Greek. Perhaps it's a more cowardly or simply one that derives from fatigue and the subsiding of passion, but sometimes it is a relief to spend half your time on trivial things than every waking hour on the one meaningful thing to which you aspire. Lower those standards and you'll be amazed at how successful you can be!

Speaking of successful, I had a potential epiphany on the bus yesterday. Now, I know that the search for happiness has really come into itself in recent years with the boom of The Secret and self-help sections everywhere, and while they're all part myth and part useful information in a variety of ratios, here's what I got: it's all about actions.

Given the world economic situation, the price of talk is at an all-time low, but actions, not the things we do in a moment but rather the things we do before that moment, are really what decides things for us.

I'm still trying to work through this one, so just bear with me. I don't want to get all into the Laws of the Universe (capital L, capital U) because fuck if I know 'em. In fact, this might all be a bunch of hooey, but let's shelve the self-doubt for a minute (God knows I had enough of that on the weekend) and see what we can see. All of the happiness philosophies of recent memory have had to do with thought and the way that those thoughts draw things to you. I'm-a call bullshit. Certainly these thoughts inspire us, but it's the actions we take as a result that brings change. You don't win the lottery because you think you will. You win the lottery cause you bought the damn ticket. Some examples, like that lottery one, are just common sense: if you go to the gym, you will become fit; if read a book, you will acquire knowledge about something. Or Paris Hilton. Whatever. It's the more abstract things, those ideas and desires that we don't normally think of as in our control via previous actions that have piqued my interest.

I cleaned my house this weekend. I have no clue why. While I like neatness, my general laziness usually takes over and things pile up. Yet, something in my head said that I needed to clean my house. That night, a group of us wanted to go out but couldn't decide on a restaurant in a specifically suggested neighborhood that happened to be mine, so we went to my place and had a great night. It was a very "If you build it they will come"situation. My dishes were washed so they were used, my bed was made and, while it wasn't put to good use like the dishes, it got someone who I'd love to have use it a mere few feet away...for a total of 45 minutesBUTTHEPOINTIS...it happened. I'm starting to see if you put yourself in the right situations, things will happen. Look at all those women who can't have a baby so they adopt and then - boom - they get pregnant. They started acting like moms so they became them. Look at me, somewhat wanting to find a better place but not really caring enough to investigate. I started browsing Craigslist every day and within a couple weeks I found this amazing place. Look at girls that flit from one relationship to the next without any time pining over anyone. Well, they're just slutty, but still...they're ACTING like sluts. Huh? Right?

So I dunno. I'm going to experiment with this for a while. Make my bed so it will be slept in; wash the wineglasses so they'll be shared. Acting like how I want it to be rather than how it is. Chores do not a social life make but perhaps they'll result in something amazing. I'll let you know how it goes.